Negotiating Your Salary Isn't Selfish - It's Strategic (Especially for Women)

When I accepted my very first leadership role, I told myself:
“I’m going to negotiate.”

I had heard too many stories and the stats about women not negotiating their salary and I honestly thought I don't care if I get only a $100 more I am going to ask!!!

And over time—with each new role—I grew more confident, more strategic, and more grounded in my ability to advocate for myself.

🗣️ My Salary Negotiation Journey

At one job, I wasn’t able to negotiate my base salary—but I did advocate for a phone stipend and moving expenses. It was something. And I’ll never forget what my VP said at the time:

“I always offer the highest salary I can. I know how hard it is to go back and ask later.”

That one sentence taught me a lot.

Later in my career, I found myself doing far more than what I was hired to do. My responsibilities had expanded, we had new leadership, and I knew I was underpaid.

So I prepared. I gathered salary data for similar roles in my area. I documented my achievements and results. I rehearsed what I wanted to say.

And then, I asked.

The result?

A $35,000 raise.

I didn’t demand. I didn’t make it emotional. I simply made a clear, confident case.

💡 Why Salary Conversations Matter (Especially for Women)

Research shows that women are more likely to negotiate when salaries are transparent.

But we’re still up against a lot—cultural messaging, fear of the “likeability” backlash (thanks, Sheryl Sandberg), and internal doubts that say “Be grateful. Don’t rock the boat.”

Sometimes, especially after layoffs, budget cuts, or leadership changes, we slip into scarcity mindset—willing to take on more for less just to keep the peace or stay secure.

But negotiating isn’t greedy.

It’s strategic.

It’s leadership.

And it can make a $1 million difference over the course of your career.

The Salary Negotiation Checklist Every Woman Needs

Whether you’re asking for a raise or entering a new role, here’s how to prepare and advocate without apology:

Before the Negotiation:

• Know your market value. Use sites like Glassdoor, Levels.fyi, Salary.com, or industry-specific data to understand your range.
• Create a brag book. Track your wins, metrics, results, and key contributions all year long.
• Practice your ask. Don’t wing it—rehearse your pitch until you feel grounded and natural.
• Know your range. Have a dream number, a realistic number, and a walkaway number.
• Write your value statement. e.g., “I’ve led projects that brought in X, streamlined Y, and exceeded our goals by Z.”

During the Conversation:

• Start with clarity and appreciation. (“I’m excited about the opportunity to continue contributing…”)
• State your number clearly.
• Pause. Let them respond. Don’t rush to fill the silence.
• Reframe the conversation. “What I value most is creating impact and maintaining a strong, collaborative environment.”
• Consider the full package. If salary is non-negotiable, ask about bonuses, stipends, flexibility, or benefits.

After the Conversation:

• Follow up in writing. Recap the offer and agreed changes.
• If the answer is “not now,” ask when to revisit. Set a timeline.
• Keep tracking your achievements. It builds your confidence and supports future asks.

And a Few What-Not-to-Dos:

🚫 Don’t make it about your personal life. (Even if your car broke down or you hired a nanny—those are real, but not relevant to the role.)
🚫 Don’t just list your job description. Talk about how you’ve gone above and beyond.
🚫 Don’t rely on time in the role. Focus on impact, not tenure.
🚫 Don’t avoid the question. Say your number—and then back it up with value.
🚫 Don’t take a “no” as the end. Take it as a “not yet” and stay engaged.

Practice Saying This:

“Based on my responsibilities, results, and the market value for this role, I’m requesting $_____. I’m confident we’ll find a number that works for both of us.”

You don’t need to be the loudest in the room (but it is also kay if you are).

You need to be clear.

You don’t need to prove your worth—you need to advocate for the value you deliver.

Salary negotiation isn’t just a moment—it’s a skill.

And when more of us speak up with confidence and clarity?

We don’t just help ourselves—we change the system.